BRIDAL RELOVED | July 28th, 2021

SHAME SHAME SHAME

Yup…. We see this…. Well not quite Cersei Lannister walking naked around our boutiques having tomatoes thrown at her, but instead a bride wearing something she picked out, something she loves and is considering to be the I DO dress for her special day being body shamed and criticised. 

Its not nice being criticised, having your decisions and choices dampened. From the clothes you wear or the furniture you buy for your house, the places you eat, the music you listen to or even the job you have? Many people find criticism tough.

Sadly we see this far too often in our line of work . Often innocently, often lightly and sometimes aggressively.

How many people can I bring with me to my bridal appointment?

We get asked this question a lot.

And most of our stores can accommodate 2-3 in our seating areas. Some more so, it’s always best to ask when you book your appointment. That’s the short answer.

But let us ask you a question before you rally the troops. How many opinions do you want and what kind of support do you desire?

This decision can determine the whole vibe of your wedding dress journey.

We have seen and heard it all. We are uplifted by guests that champion our brides (and this mostly happens I must add), yet we are sometimes shocked and saddened by those who with their words, shatter the confidence of the bride and insult and critisise their choices. 

Whilst we have some fantastic entourages who are helpful, kind, sensitive and use encouragement and common sense when giving their opinions, sadly we hear brides being put down, shamed and sometimes bullied. 

Our advice for a bride is to stay focused on you

• your dreams and desires. It’s your day, your body and it’s your wedding regardless of who is paying.
• have a conversation with your squad before you come, tell them you are nervous, anxious, worried that the dresses won’t look nice or that you won’t find anything you like.
• Bring the people who champion you.
• Keep your entourage as small as you can.
• Consider going alone the first time, to see what YOU like, pick 3 dresses and then book a 2nd appointment to bring your entourage and show them the 3 you like. The SOLO Service (see below) l I’m.

Our advice to your guests….. be kind!

• listen to the bride. If she likes a dress that you don’t like, let her like it, be happy for her. It’s not your body or you dress.

We are Bridal Consultants and we are experts in this field. More often than not our brides don’t know much about designers, fabrics, shapes etc. We are here to help, to serve and to educate so you get the best experience all round.  Sometimes we have to direct our attention to the party and try to keep on track with making the appointment about the bride and not about what they like, what they want when they get married and what they wore at their own weddings.

In the dressing room, a bride beams with delight, feels amazing and loves the dress. We open the curtains to show the bridal party to sometimes hear:

I prefer the other one

I feel it’s too tight on your bum

I don’t like it at all

It’s not something I would go for

You need something less fussy 

You need something to bring your waistline in

What a bride should be hearing is:

What do you think?

Do you like it?

How do you feel?

Then after the party have listened to the brides answers, the entourage should then give their comments and encouragement positively and kindly.

If you have been asked to join a bride in wedding dress shopping you have been asked to go along for support. 

We do get a lot more brides coming alone these days for appointments. These brides want to experience for themselves what they like without comment and judgment of others and we are so here for that. We do not charge for our standard appointments but some of our stores have started to offer a SOLO Service.