BRIDAL RELOVED |
Keep Calm and Plan A Wedding…
Hello you wonderful lot,
Phew I have finally managed to catch my breath for five minutes! We are in the midst of opening Bridal Reloved store number four this week in Coventry. It’s been busy and hectic but a lot of fun. You will all be meeting the wonderful owner Joanne in next week’s blog. Once we are done here in Coventry, we will be off to the gorgeous Shropshire countryside to set up store number five! Watch this space Relovers…..
Speaking of being busy and hectic, did you know that according to the Holmes and Rahe scale, getting married is in the top ten of most stressful life events? I was surprised by this. I mean you are marrying the love of your life in front of all your friends and family, what can be hard about that? And then I realised, it isn’t the actual event/ceremony that is stressful, it’s the journey to that moment that causes the stress. It is the bit between saying yes and I do!
However never fear with careful organisation and planning you can avoid going grey, falling out with your friends and family and even at the worst turning into a bride or groom-zilla. You just have to stay on the ball and remember you cannot control everything. The law of averages dictates that something will go wrong. You have to pick your battles wisely, don’t let something small be the thing that tips you over the edge.
The first thing to do is to sit down with your partner and go through your friends and family and honestly and fairly come to an agreement about who you think are the best people to ask to help you plan and execute the biggest day of your life. As much as the two of you think you might be able to do it all alone, there will come a time or day when you need to vent, rage or cry at someone other than your beloved. Pick one or two people that you know are reliable. Pick people who you know can be firm but fair, people’s whose opinion can be objective and people’s whose opinions you value. These are the people that won’t mind telling you that you are being unreasonable and they will be the ones who will lead you away from a tricky situation by being an excellent diplomat.
If your parents are being generous enough to pay for your wedding day then you should know, while it is your big day, if they are holding the purse strings then they are going to want some input into the big decisions. However more often nowadays more and more couples are paying for their own weddings sometimes with helpful contributions from the Bank of Mum and Dad. This can help you retain overall control of your day and more importantly the guest list. If Mum and Dad are paying then you might have felt obliged to invite Mike and Sandra from the Golf Club, if you are paying then Mike and Sandra can play a round on your big day!
However, even if you are paying for your whole wedding don’t expect your parents, especially the mums, to sit by and not have an opinion. This is the part where you need to learn to smile sweetly and say ‘thanks for your suggestion, we will bear it in mind.’ It’s often said that on the big day the most important person after the bride and groom is the mother of the bride. That is a lovely sentiment, however it is not a ‘pass go to collect £200’ sign for Mum to hijack your day and fill it with her vision. Your day, your vision.
If you are the bride, then the most exciting and emotional part of planning your wedding is when you go wedding dress shopping. Above all other purchases your wedding dress is possibly the most expensive and important item of clothing you will own. It is the dress you’ll wear when staring into the eyes of the love of your life as you prepare to say ‘I do’, it’s the dress you’ll wear in the photographs displayed not only in your home, but the homes of your parents, in-laws and other family. You want the dress to be you. You want to feel like a million dollars, it has to be right. The compulsion to take along a large entourage can be strong. Don’t get me wrong, we love it when a bride comes in with her mum, gran, sister and bridesmaid, but any more than four female voices in the store and you are going to struggle to be heard. It can be a case of too many cooks spoiling the broth. You might love a dress, but one of your bridesmaids might not like it because it’s one she might not have chosen for herself. And that’s the game, wedding dresses are a very subjective choice. What’s right for you is not going to be right for someone else. When you go dress shopping take along people who will listen to what you want and people who will offer you encouragement and support. If you know one of your bridesmaids has very strong opinions, then maybe leave her out of the dress shopping and take her cake-tasting instead!
When it comes to your wedding remember it is about the two of you as a couple. Make decisions as a couple. It’s a long running joke that the groom only gets involved on the day itself, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. There are so many choices and decisions to make it helps enormously to share the burden. The likelihood is, if you make light work of all the big things you need to do, then all the small items will more or less fall into place with a minimal amount of fuss.
If you are in the throes of wedding planning then I hope this has helped a little bit. Over the coming months keep an eye out for our Meet The Supplier blogs I will be doing, they will be bringing their own ideas and inspiration to help you. Sign and subscribe if you don’t want to miss one, and come and find me on Twitter @zbridalreloved
Zarina xx